Pictures from Tama Zoo we visited on Labor Day
I haven’t updated here on our adoption/foster care processes, but we actually made quite a bit progress over the summer! We attended a bunch of meetings and foster care group courses. We also got the chance to visit an orphanage.
I wrote about our first group course here. The second one was held a month later, and of course, it was on Sunday. I feel like every event falls on Sundays, which is a problem for us since we attend church on Sundays. But considering that the Child Guidance Center offers these courses that are required for hopeful foster parents only twice a year, we just had to do it when they were offered.
After the first group course I came home terribly depressed and sad because the meeting revolved around the issue of foster parent abuse. It saddened me to think of these children and made me really consider what is necessary for me not to become an abuser like these other people. Thankfully, after the last two meetings, I came home encouraged because the topics were generally more pleasant and revolved around various exciting child raising possibilities. After these meetings, I felt very secure that we could be suitable foster parents. Still though, there was a feeling of irritation I could not quite shake.
During these latter two meetings, we had chances to spend time getting to know other couples who wanted to be foster parents. We had a group discussion times where we could share our thoughts on the study materials, ask questions and and reveal concerns. This is from where my irritation stems. I noticed that many couples had personal, marital and relationship issues that need to be dealt with before they should consider enter the foster care program. Three out of five couples who attended the courses said they are thinking of foster care only because they could not have their biological children. What saddened me was that the wives were so desperate, they’ve probably tried fertility treatments for years (I’m guessing because they seemed older, 40s or maybe in 50s), but the husbands were so indifferent and distant. One guys said he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to do this, but his wife forced him into attending the courses. The other guy said he only needed a child for inheritance purposes. Inheritance?! Are you Bill Gates?! What do you have thats so wonderful?! At another meeting with these same couples we had a chance to visit inside an orphanage. Te husbands spent their time outside smoking, uninterested and uncaring. Why would anyone give these people children?
If that’s the reality of the foster care in Japan, I’m heart broken. The kids might be better off staying at the orphanage with government supplied care takers.
Yasuko says
多摩動物公園近くに住んでます!お会い?お見かけ?(笑)したかったです!
Chie says
康子さん★ そうなんですねー! 初めて行きましたけど、モノレールにのれて楽しかったです笑 多摩動物園は広いし、東京なのに広々としていていいところですね☆
Rowan says
How sad! How could you only want a child for inheritance issues?! Such strange people over there. I’m glad that you guys are the total opposites of those people. You’re doing this out of pure love. Well, I guess the child that’s gonna end up with you is very lucky, since it could have ended up with one of those sick couples you’ve written about as well..
Love,
Rowan
http://www.redreidinghood.com
Vicki says
That’s heartbreaking. Imagine going to a house where only one parent wanted you. You’re right – it may be better for them to be raised by the state than grow up with a feeling that your father resented you. I hope so much that the process works out for you and your family, and the lucky child gets to live in a home where both parents are attentive.
Chie says
Hi Vicki, yes, it was heartbreaking… and the inheritance reason really threw me off! I’m not sure what happened to the other couples attended the courses, whether they went through the whole process or decided against it. I will know when we get approved and invited for the ceremony..
Ginger says
I’m so sad to hear about this, but at the same time, it makes me really glad that you and Andy are doing this. You’re doing it for the right reason, and you guys have so much love to give that will really make the difference in the life of a child.
Chie says
Oh thank you for the encouragement, Sonja! I am excited for the possibility!!
Cristiane Corrêa says
Oh my God, so sad!!! the people are so selfish, they doesn´t have any concept of love… I think that there is a lot of money and nothing about God!!! That God conduct this children to your family… the right on…
Wendy says
Hi Chie, what an exciting time for you and your family!! So good to hear about the heart you guys have for these kids. 🙂
But on the other hand, you’re so right, children are not commodities!! I hope and pray that those kids will get the love and attention they deserve=( Thank you for sharing this!
Chie says
Thank you, Wendy!